Confession
by Lumosify
Summary: "I feel too attached to one person in particular, to be exact. And that may not seem like a problem either. But I really shouldn't be attached to this person. Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have." / Scorpius has a confession to make. ONESHOT!


**Written for Round 10 of the QLFC. Tornadoes...we must push forward.**

 **(Prompts detailed at the bottom.)**

* * *

 _Hey Al,_

 _It's me, Scorpius. I'm writing from the bed next to you at the Potters' house. Ironic, huh? You're probably never going to receive this letter, but you're right here while I'm writing it._

 _The thing is, Al, I can't admit this out loud. And no matter how much I wish I could, I can't tell you either. Writing a letter I'll never send is much easier._

 _It's not that I can't face the truth. I'm more worried that you may not be able to. And honestly, if it means I may lose your friendship, I won't ever reveal my secret._

 _I can imagine what you'd be asking right now. You're probably thinking, "What do you want from me?"_

 _If I were telling this to you, you'd probably say it. But I don't want anything from you. This is my story to tell, and all I want is to tell it, even if no one will ever hear it._

 _You've always been my best friend, Al. Everyone knows it. No one questions it anymore. You may be under the impression that I could care less for the rest of your family. After all, every time I visit I remain distant from your relatives. You never, ever got mad about that, no matter how rude I must have seemed. Thanks for that, by the way. I appreciate it._

 _I sound like a sap, don't I? If I keep rambling I'll never finish this letter. What I'm trying to say is, well, what if I was distancing myself from your family because I felt_ too _attached?_

 _"What the hell, mate? What's the problem with that?" That's what I assume you'd be thinking. Maybe I should make myself clear._

 _I feel too attached to one person in particular, to be exact. And that may not seem like a problem either. But I really shouldn't be attached to this person. Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have._

 _Sounds dramatic, huh? And before you ask, no, it's not because it's a guy. If it were that simple I wouldn't be pouring out my guts on this parchment. No, this guy is a newlywed, and he is most definitely related to me._

 _Crazy situation, I know. I can't imagine your reaction right now, but I bet you've figured out who he is. In case you haven't (and even if you have), let me finish._

 _I know how you hate sappy, romantic things. Like me, you like to isolate yourself from silly feelings like that. Thing is, Al, when you find someone you really care about, it doesn't matter whether you want to feel those things or not. You hardly have a choice._

 _At least, I certainly didn't choose to fall in love with someone related to me._

 _It probably started the Christmas break of our first year. Do you remember it? Probably, because it was the year you begged your parents to let me come with you to the Christmas and New Year's festivities. Being the brilliant people they are, Mr. and Mrs. Potter agreed after two weeks' work of deliberation. My parents were more reluctant, but my mother is the optimistic type and supported the idea. After some grumbling, my father relented._

* * *

There we were, on King's Cross, looking for your parents. It didn't take very long because your mother has astonishingly bright hair. So do a good number of the Weasleys, of course. Though I have to say, the fiery coloring has really watered down in the newer waves of Weasley-Potters.

We pushed through the crowd, and I felt like I might vomit. What if the Potters suddenly had second thoughts after seeing me? That was my main worry as we approached.

Your mother hugged the life out of you and then passed you off to your father, who bent down and hugged you. Then little Lily Luna tugged on your hand, squealed your name, and began to chatter away. She wanted to know where James was. You told her he was still running around with his friends.

I stood there awkwardly, shuffling my feet and holding tight to my luggage. I felt like an intruder on the family moment.

After a few minutes, Mr. Potter looked up and noticed me. He cleared his throat, and Mrs. Potter looked up too. They stared at me for a long moment.

Then, a head of blue-green hair tumbled from the crowd, a stunning girl with long blond hair beside him. Teddy and Victoire, from what you'd told me.

"So this is the Malfoy kid!" Teddy grinned, and ruffled my hair. I quickly attempted to pat it down, and shot him a glare. He simply beamed.

"So I heard we're related," he began, and I blinked. Blue-haired and unkempt, he looked the opposite of a Malfoy. Or, perhaps 'Malfoy opposite' was reserved for the Weasleys. Either way, I didn't really believe him.

"I'm Andromeda Black's grandkid, Teddy," he introduced. "And you're her sister's grandkid. So that makes us, what, second cousins?"

I squinted at him. "You can't be a Malfoy or a Black. You don't look at all like any of them."

Teddy simply grinned. He scrunched up his face. And then his hair turned sandy, his chin grew just a bit, his nose became smaller, and finally his eyes changed color. "See that? That's the signature Black eyes."

He was right. His eyes were the exact shade of gray as the few paintings of Blacks I had seen at Malfoy Manor. They were distinctive, even from the Malfoy eyes, which tended to be a few shades lighter.

"Don't worry, I'm not faking it," Teddy said seriously. Then his voice became haughtier. "After all, you cannot imitate a true Black's eyes." Lily Luna giggled, and Al snickered.

I cracked a smile. That was something Grandmother had told me once, while complaining about someone named Nymphadora.

"Grandmother says that to me," Teddy says. "She says Mum never could get it quite right. So this is the real deal."

"Alright, I believe you," I said, after a moment's deliberation.

"Good," Teddy smiled, but his eyes were still the overly-expressive Black eyes. I saw sadness hidden in them. "I need all the family I can get."

The blond girl squeezed his hand, and then turned my way, clearing her throat. "I'm Victoire Weasley," she greeted. "You may have seen me in the halls at Hogwarts. I'm Head Girl this year."

"Scorpius Malfoy," I answered, hesitantly.

Teddy smiled, encouraging me to go on.

"Nice to meet you all," I told the group. I turned towards the Potters. "Thank you for letting me stay over at your house."

"Our pleasure," Mrs. Potter said. Mr. Potter remained silent, and his expression was unreadable.

"Well, I'll see you on Christmas Eve," Teddy's hair turned bright green. He waved goodbye, then began to walk away with Victoire.

"I'll expect you at the New Year's Eve party as well, young man!" Mrs. Potter yelled. Teddy turned and grinned, but then turned back around without another word.

"Thinks he can abandon us every year, now that he's done it once," Mrs. Potter grumbled. "Well, not this year."

Mr. Potter chuckled, and then squinted through the crowd. "Let's find James and get going."

* * *

 _That probably doesn't seem important at all. But to my younger self, this was the first person I had met that didn't immediately judge me for being a Malfoy. Even you had your doubts about me, in the beginning of first year._

 _Besides, who can ignore someone with multi-colored hair? Teddy seems to draw attention wherever he goes. Victoire seems to do the same. When they're together, they are always the center of attention. And I guess that just made me notice them more._

 _Victoire is known for her beauty and her ingrained sense of responsibility. She is the leader of her generation of Potter-Weasleys more often than not. At the same time she seems almost…spoiled. Don't get me wrong, she's a good person. But there's something about her love for attention and the way she seems to crave it every moment of the day that bothers me._

 _As for Teddy, he loves to give attention. He draws his own sort of regard, and like Victoire he seems perfectly comfortable with it. But instead of craving more notice, he gives all that attention back. The only person Victoire really gave the time of the day to loves to return all of that love and care._

 _Everyone knows they're deeply in love. I know I could never come between that. But it didn't make me stop loving him before, and it hasn't stopped me now._

 _Maybe love is too strong a word. Maybe 'obsession' is a better word. Whatever it is, I do know when I realized it. Tomorrow it'll be exactly a year from that day._

* * *

The annual Weasley-Potter New Year's Eve party. I'd been attending since first year. It was fifth year now, but the New Year's Eve party never changed.

As usual, the Burrow looked as if it were about to explode. There were people running around like the house was on fire, and to be honest I would not be shocked at all if that were the case. I swear, any day now the place will just collapse, and no one will be surprised.

Before I really realized it, my eyes were drawn straight to a head of messy brown hair and antlers, accompanied by a head of long blond hair. And before I registered what I was doing, I was standing in front of the pair.

"Are those what I think they are?" I asked, squinting up at Teddy's antlers.

"Are you asking if they're home-grown?" Teddy winked. "They are, but don't tell Aunt Hermione. She'll freak out."

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask why your nose is glowing bright red," Victoire raised an eyebrow at Teddy.

"I'm Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," Teddy announced. Then he turned to Victoire. "Too flashy?"

She cringed slightly. "Just a bit."

"Whoops." Teddy tapped his nose twice, and it stopped glowing an angry red. "Sorry love."

Victoire looped an arm through his with a smile. "You still look very reindeer, if that helps."

"Just not Rudolph," Teddy shook his head dramatically.

Without thinking, I spoke up, "I think the glowing red nose looked cool."

Victoire stared at me. I mentally slapped myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! The number one rule of the youngest generation of Weasley-Potters was "don't contradict the lovebirds", and I had just broken that.

"Thanks Scorp," Teddy eased in, alleviating the tension. "Maybe next time."

Then he smiled, and my stomach felt like it was being stirred by a very large spoon. I felt very sweaty all of a sudden.

"R-right," I cleared my throat. "Er, I'll see you around." I turned and let myself get swallowed in the crowd.

 _What was that?_ I asked myself as I pushed past a murderous Roxanne attempting to hunt down Louis.

I didn't want to answer my own question.

"Is the Malfoy boy finally hanging with the crowd? Shocker, that," George Weasley called out. I don't know why he decided 'running through the crowd and trampling the occasional person' constituted as socializing, but I was too consumed in my own thoughts to care.

I found myself in the kitchen, where Mrs. Weasley (as in, your Grandma Weasley) was arguing with Fleur Weasley about allowing her to help with the cooking.

"Well, if it isn't Scorpius Malfoy," I turned to the voice and saw Mrs. Potter leaning on the counter, as far away from Mrs. Weasley and Fleur Weasley as possible.

"Hi Mrs. Potter," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"You know my mum," she answered, rolling her eyes. "She refuses to believe that Harry's the one that cooks in our house, not me."

"Why didn't you just get Mr. Potter in here instead?" I asked, trying to get my mind off my own problems.

"I think he does enough cooking to last a lifetime," Mrs. Potter said quietly, and I suspected she knew something I didn't. "And besides, he's finally enjoying himself. You wouldn't believe how much Auror duty takes out of him."

I didn't have much to say to that, so I remained silent.

"So anyway," Mrs. Potter shook her head. "What have you got going on?"

I shifted in place. "Nothing much."

"Ah, come on," she encouraged. "It's hard to surprise me, what with my crazy family and my stunt-pulling husband. Not to mention _I_ was a stunt-pulling Quidditch player myself."

"I don't think I should say," I mumbled. And I wasn't even completely sure. But it's a bit hard to mistake those familiar symptoms.

"Well, whenever you feel like it's time to 'fess up to whatever it is, you go right ahead." Mrs. Potter straightened up. "Meanwhile, I'll try to stop Mum and Fleur's argument before it destroys the kitchen."

"Thanks Mrs. Potter," I said, although I didn't really mean it.

"You're welcome," she said. "Now, I think you should try socializing with someone other than Al. Trust me, it's much more fun than you think it is. You could at least attempt to talk to one of your own relatives, Andromeda and Teddy are quite fun to talk to."

* * *

 _Maybe it was a little rude that I didn't reply, and instead ran away. Alright, it was very rude. But she had just reminded me of the fact that_ Teddy is my relative _. Of course this had to be worst case scenario._

 _Throughout the rest of the evening, Mrs. Potter gave me questioning stares. I avoided looking at her directly and stuck as close to you as possible. I don't think you noticed, and if you did you probably thought I was just learning to socialize._

 _Luckily you didn't hang around Teddy very often, and when you did I let myself get lost in the crowd until you had finished. As much as I wanted to be near Teddy, I wanted to be as far away as possible from him. The only person who seemed to really question my disappearances was Mrs. Potter, and that was because she knew something was up._

 _It's not easy avoiding Teddy when he and Victoire are usually the center of attention. In a desperate attempt to get away from the two of them, mostly Teddy, I ended up on the porch outside. Unfortunately for me, I was not alone._

* * *

"So I think I've figured out what's going on," Mrs. Potter began. I mentally jumped off a cliff and waited for the inevitable doom. "And I'm not quite sure how to feel. To be honest, I wouldn't have figured it out if it weren't for my own experiences with people I thought I could never have."

"For once, I'm out of advice." I turned to look at her. She was holding a glass of something red, almost purple. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure you're well aware of Teddy and Victoire. I would never want to break that, or help someone else to break that relationship. But if Teddy somehow finds his way to you, of his own will, I won't complain."

"He's my second cousin."

"Hey, incest is practically pureblood tradition," she shrugged. "I'm not sure I'd ever partake in it, but it's not completely taboo."

The countdown to midnight began, back inside the Burrow. Mrs. Potter and I both faced the door. It was open, and through it I could see Teddy and Victoire getting closer and closer.

I watched in silence as Teddy and Victoire's lips met. It wasn't the first time I'd seen them kiss, but it was the first time it seriously bothered me.

Mrs. Potter was watching me. I think she saw my jaw clench, because she said, "We could head home now, if you'd like."

I nodded.

* * *

 _If you were wondering why we left so early, that's why. And it was the fact that Mrs. Potter knew how I felt that made me hesitant to come back to your house this year._

 _Mrs. Potter is very good at pretending nothing happened last year. That, or she genuinely thinks nothing important happened._

 _But the point is, I may not come to the Weasley-Potter New Year's Eve party this year. I don't think I can face everything from last year, especially if it'll be repeated again. And I know that I'll be absolutely no fun because I will be anticipating a repeat of last year. So tomorrow morning, I'll go back home and celebrate with my family. I haven't done that since third year, if you remember._

 _I'm really sorry Al. Next year, maybe._

 _I just remembered that you'll never get this letter. Now, I think I should hide this at the bottom of your school trunk (you never clean down there), and if we ever drift apart because of something related to this, you'll find this eventually. And maybe things will be clearer._

 _Your best mate,_

 _Scorpius Malfoy_

* * *

 **Team: ** Tutshill Tornadoes

 **Position:** Beater 1

 **Round Prompt: ** A relationship between family members.

 **Word Count:** 2,847 words (excluding Author's Notes)

 **Prompts Used:**

 **Prompt 5:** (quote) 'Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have.' - Tabitha Suzuma, _Forbidden_

 **Prompt 6:** (word) reach

 **Prompt 7:** (style) letter-fic

 **Prompt 10:** (dialogue) "What do you want from me?"

 **Prompt 13:** (occasion) New Year's Eve party

 **A/N:** I'm not satisfied with how this came out. But incest is hard to write about. Or maybe I'm making it hard. Either way, if this turns out to be even slightly okay that will be a miracle. Well, this Scorpius has a hard time describing his feelings anyway, and halfway through his character kind of steered the story in a weird direction, but usually that's a good thing so hopefully the ending is alright. But ugh, this was so hard to write.


End file.
